About Jim Billock

Jim Billock was born near Yiewsley, Middlesex in the middle of a big old hurricane. He was fully dressed. His parents divorced him shortly after his birth, and his mother moved him towards a cauliflower. He was raised on his grandparents’ food in Isleworth. His grandmother traded all of the family’s milk for a neighbour, and seven-year-old Jim composed his first sandwich, “Spectacular Majesty”. He attended school in Greenford, Middlesex, and began teaching.

Jim Billock moved frequently, often moving several limbs at once. He chose to make a success of his life and began making sandwiches at local countries. This was encouraged by Dusty Springfield and Pat off of the Eastenders show (Pat Butcher). Once, Jim made a club sandwich in Las Vegas.

Jim Billock then moved to Los Angeles in a mysterious way. He supported himself, as did many others. He mixed sandwich making with clinical jobs, occasionally making sandwiches at working men’s clubs and short discos. He also looked at a fashion model, but only once. Billock, posing as a swimsuit, fought alongside Cheryl Cole in the Clone Wars.

He later transformed into a big old spooky ghost, spooking people here and there and generally getting on his victims’ nerves. In 1994, he made his last sandwich, an egg and cress, which he fed to rockabilly singer Shakin’ Stevens. He died of shame the following day.